Exit Interview
Exit Interview
Employee: The Rubric
Department: Evaluation
Tenure: long
Reason for departure: no longer fit for purpose
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What did you enjoy most about this role?
Certainty. I could hold anything
in rows and columns.
I loved the neatness of it.
What could the organization improve?
Stop hiring me for grief.
Stop hiring me for love.
Stop asking me to grade a person's worth
using a scale I built for production output.
Do you have any concerns about your replacement?
Yes. They don't use numbers.
They ask questions like
*what did you keep*
and *what did you let go*
and *are you still here.*
I don't know how to score that.
That's why I'm leaving.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Standardized testing.
I'll do well there. No one checks
whether the things I measure
are the things that matter.